We got our first BFP on Clo mid in September 2009 after ttc since January 2008. Our dreams came crashing down when we miscarried in October. I was 6.5 weeks along. February 2010 brought another BFP, followed quickly by miscarriage #2 at 4.5 weeks. I am currently trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and get some answers to why my body doesn't want to stay pregnant. Clo mid was my magic potion for getting prego, now I just need to find the magic elixir to keep that pregnancy for 9 months. I am meeting with a multiple pregnancy loss maternal fetal medicine Dr. for the first time on Tuesday.
An update for my faithful readers: I have been working night and day on cheering myself up. I have successfully kept myself busy enough to keep the crying to a minimum. Either that, or I am just in denial. Either way, here is what I have been cheering myself up with...
- hosting a Valentines day brunch for my mom and sisters
- buying myself flowers, and getting roses from my DH
- girls night
- reading reading reading
- movie: Valentines day
- shopping
- pedicure
- road trip to find the sun...we found it and it still exists
- movie: When in Rome
- eating treats, lots of treats (I really need to stop that!)
- making an appointment with MFM Dr., I'm really excited to get some answers and come up with a plan.
- did I mention I have been eating lots of treats??
I am doing much better with this miscarriage then I did with the last one. I think much of that is because my heart was guarded with this pregnancy and I didn't give the whole thing to it for fear of it being smashed into a million pieces again. I hope I can feel safe enough to give my whole heart to this dream, but right now I am trying to protect it. I thank you all for your kind words. I could really feel the love and support from you all. I hope I can pay it forward to those in need.
PS...Today is my birthday. Go out and eat come cake to celebrate since it is my favorite food! I know I will be!
