How did we get here??

14 weeks?!?  Really?  We made it to 14 weeks. 

I don't even know how to react to what is going on inside of me.  We have been so scared that this pregnancy would have the same fate as the others that we spent the fist 12 weeks making ourselves NOT get excited. 

Now that my Dr. has told us repeatedly that we are out of the woods, and walking farther and farther away from the woods every day, we are trying to convince ourselves that this really is happening and that it is time to get excited.  

One of the ways we are trying to get ourselves excited is to start telling people.  This has been really fun, but it is so weird to see people be so so excited and scream and jump when we haven't even done that.  It has really helped everything feel more real now that it isn't such a big secret. 

So how have we gotten to this point?  We started out with weekly ultrasounds starting on week 7.  We saw Beaner on week 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, and will on week 15 (we may find our if Beaner is a she or a he :)).  I have switched to every other week, and that last week is so hard.  I think if i could just feel it moving around I would be so much more at ease.

I do have so say that there is something much cooler then hearing a heartbeat.  For me it is seeing the baby move.  At our u/s on week 10, it finally looked more like a person then a blob.  I asked the u/s tech about what was what, and when she stopped moving and just held the u/s in one spot we saw Beaner wiggle.  It was almost as if it was saying "Hi mom and dad.  I'm in here.  Can't wait to meet you.  I love you!"  DH teared up at the sight of our baby moving.  It made it feel so real to see something alive and moving.

Each u/s after that we have seen Beaner move.  That is my favorite part.  Last week it was kicking and spinning and dancing up a storm.  My Dr. feels very very positive because of the movement that has been shown.  He says that a baby in distress doesn't move.  Even before the heart rate drops the baby would stop moving, and Beaner is moving up a storm!

I feel so blessed with everything that is happening.  I can't believe that we are getting closer to our dream with each passing day.  I know that this experience will make me a better mom and will help make me seldom take my children for granted.  I know there are still so many things that could go wrong and our dream could come crashing down again, but for now, I am trying to not think about that and instead relish in the fact that our baby is growing and kicking and getting ready to meet us in March.

Best of thoughts to everyone still working to this goal.  Please keep fighting because this joy is worth all the pain to get here!