Baby Hungry: Back on the Roller Coaster

2.09.2010

Back on the Roller Coaster

Bleeding started last night.

I have never felt more like a failure. Why can't I do the one job women are supposed to do?

I'm not strong enough to do this again.

15 comments:

Marla said...: Oh, no! Hope everything is all right! *hugs*; February 9, 2010 at 9:22 AM
A said...: Oh my gosh!! I will be praying you'll somehow feel comforted right now. Maybe you'll look into some cause for recurrent loss? Many hugs today (hug); February 9, 2010 at 9:22 AM
... said...: I'm so sorry. Prayers and hugs for you.; February 9, 2010 at 9:29 AM
Lmac said...: I am so sorry...I can't imagine the pain. Take time and take deep breaths. You are a strong woman and to be clear YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!; February 9, 2010 at 9:32 AM
Circus Princess said...: I hope, hope, HOPE and pray that this is just a harmless bleeding episode.
Please!
Sending lots of hugs your way.; February 9, 2010 at 9:33 AM
Alison said...: Nooo!!! It's not over yet...lots of women have some bleeding early on. Gosh, I am so sorry. Thinking of you. Keep us posted.; February 9, 2010 at 9:33 AM
Jen said...: Oh, I sincerely hope the bleeding is nothing. Thinking of you; February 9, 2010 at 9:44 AM
Anonymous said...: I hope it's a false alarm. Thinking of you.; February 9, 2010 at 9:47 AM
AL said...: NOOO!!! Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I am hoping and praying that it's nothing.; February 9, 2010 at 10:10 AM
Kait said...: Oh no. I hope the bleeding is not what you think. You are in my thoughts and heart. I'm so sorry you're going through this.; February 9, 2010 at 11:06 AM
Melissa said...: Oh gosh. I'm hoping it's nothing. I'm hoping it old blood. I'll be thinking of you Today. And you are NOT a failure. You're not. Remember that.; February 9, 2010 at 11:30 AM
Anonymous said...: Just said a prayer for you. Praying its a false alarm! *hugs*; February 9, 2010 at 2:36 PM
Bristelle said...: Praying for you through this, whatever the outcome.; February 9, 2010 at 6:25 PM
Anonymous said...: I am so sorry. Please don't think you are a failure. You are definitely not.; February 9, 2010 at 7:21 PM
Rachel said...: I'm so sorry you're going through this, but don't give up yet. God WILL get you through this; He did last time, didn't He?

Also, you might need additional pregnancy support like supplemental progesterone and I would certainly go if for more extensive testing if you do miscarry.

((HUGS)); February 10, 2010 at 1:35 AM

IF Jorney In a Nutshell

June 2004 - Start the Pill.

November 2004 - Marry the love of my life.

November 2004 - December 2007 - Happy married life with no desire for kids.

January 2008 - Go off pill and start TTC.

March 2008 - First period since going off the pill.

June 2008 - See OBGYN about lack of period. Get put on Provera to force periods. Schedule appt for 6 months.

June 2008 - December 2008 - Continue to take Provera to force peiord each cycle.

December 2008 - See OBGYN. She wants me to chart BBT and take ovulation tests. DH needs to do SA. Schedule appt for 3 months out.

January 2009 - March 2009 - Take small break...can't handle all the stress.

March 2009-June 2009 - Track BBT and O. No Ovulation. DH gets SA and it comes back great. 28 on the 1-30 scale of fertility.

June 2009 - See OBGYN. Prescribes Clomid for CD 5-9. Schedule no follow up appt because I think she is not doing enough. Schedule with RE for September 2009.

July 2009 - Take a cycle off, too many vacations and don't want to have first Clomid cycle out of town. Reschedule RE for November 2009.

August 2009 - First Clomid Cycle - 50mg. Late ovulation - about day 26. BFP on CD40!

October 10, 2009 - Miscarriage #1 at about 6 weeks.

October 2009-January 2010 - Emotional healing, and medical break.

January 2010 - 2 year mark of trying and start of Clomid Cycle #2 - 50mg.

February 7, 2010 - BFP #2 on CD34

February 11, 2010 - Miscarriage #2 at about 4.5 weeks. Time to move to a MFM Dr.

February 2010 - Meet with MFM Dr. LOVE HIM! This is right where I am supposed to be.

February 2010-May 2010 - Medical Break again

May 2010 - 3rd Clomid Cycle - BFN, but AF came all on her own.

July 2010 - 4th Clomid Cycle

July 7, 2010 - BFP #3 - no celebrating till 12 weeks

July 13, 2010 - Beta 1317

July 15, 2010 - Beta 2817

IF Abbreviations

2WW--two week wait (post ovulation until beta)
AF--aunt flo (your period)
BBT--basal body temperature
BCP--birth control pills
BD--baby dancing (having sex)
BFN--big fat negative
BFP--big fat positive
BP--blood pressure
B/W--blood work
CCCT--clomid challenge test
CD--cycle day
CM--cervical mucous
DH--dear husband
DPO--days past ovulation
DW--dear wife
Dx--diagnosis
EDD--estimated due date
FF--fertility friend FSH--follicle stimulating hormone
HPT--home pregnancy test
HTH--hope that helpsI
F--infertility
Lap--laparoscopy
LMP--last menstrual period
MF--male factor
O--ovulate (or O'ing)
OB/GYN--obstetrician/gynecologist
OPK--ovulation predictor kit
P4--progesterone
PCOS--polycystic ovarian syndrome
PG-pregnant
POAS--pee on a stick (take a pregnancy test)
PUPO--pregnant until proven otherwise
RE--reproductive endocrinologist
Rx--prescription
SA--semen analysis
Temp--taking BBT
TSH--thyroid stimulating hormone
TTC--trying to conceive
Tx--treatment
U/S--ultrasound
UTI--urinary tract infection

Baby Hungry

2.09.2010

Back on the Roller Coaster

15 comments:

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