...that is what I am looking for in the pregnancy test I take today. The bleeding finally stopped and my Dr. wants a BFN to make sure all the pregnancy tissue has passed. I am having mixed feelings about this.
Seeing a negative would mean my body took care of everything itself. That It knew what needed to be done and did it. It would help restore my faith in my body. I have had so much medical intervention lately that it would be nice to do something for myself. If my body can figure out how to get Un-pregnant by itself, maybe it will be able to figure out how to stay pregnant too. I don't think I can't handle the thought of a procedure to finish what my body started.
There is a tiny part of me that still has a little bitty ounce of Hope that I could go through that much bleeding, that much pain and cramping, and lose that much tissuey blood and that everything is still ok and that I still have a little baby growing inside of me. I know that is the part of my grief that is in denial, but it is there just the same. I am nervous to see and know for a fact that it is really over. What will that do to my emotional stability? I really hope I am strong enough to truly confirm what I already know.
Thoughts on Enshittification
1 day ago
7 comments:
*hugs* I'm so sorry. I hope that your body does what it is supposed to do and that you don't have to have the procedure.
I know that feeling. I think I felt something pretty similar after my last miscarriage (m/c #3). For me, though, the real healing comes after the bleeding stops. The saddness stays, but at least I am not constantly reminded at how my body failed yet another time. And then, it is easier to look ahead and be hopeful again.
Hugs, to you. Sending strength and love your way.
I recall that feeling too. Hoping, after all the cramps & bleeding, that a Baby was still there.
You are strong enough, remember that.
Praying for you and your DH.
I hope that your body did what it was supposed to and you don't have to go through anything else.
I agree with Melissa, you are strong enough. You will get through this.
hugs and prayers to you.
I will be thinking of you today.
I hope you are ok and don't have to do any procedures. Hugs & prayers too
I absolutely hate this for you. You've been on my mind so much lately. Just praying that your body gets it's act together (hugs)
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